As a woman, I watch the NFL every week with a small pit in my stomach. There’s an unspoken bargain I make with myself whenever I watch games, with a similar suspension of disbelief one has when they watch movies. You know things are not okay, but you watch anyway so you can enjoy the game for three hours. You know Death Stars don’t exist. You know wicked witches don’t exist, and even if they did, you know they wouldn’t care about ruby slippers. You watch football and you know the NFL doesn’t give a damn about women, black people or members of the LGBTQ+ community. But you watch anyway, striking that bargain with yourself and suspending your disbelief.
That’s why, to me, the revelations laid bare in emails from former Raiders head coach Jon Gruden were not surprising. The whole episode started almost normally enough! On Sunday, during a weather delay on the Sunday Night Football broadcast - before the New York Times dropped an even larger trove of emails - Mike Terico and Tony Dungey were dismissing the racially charged email written by Gruden and unearthed by the Wall Street Journal. They didn’t excuse what Gruden had said about DeMaurice Smith, the black executive director of the NFLPA, a dumb man with “lips the size of michellin tires”. Dungey and Terico have both worked with Gruden and defended him, noting that they had never seen Gruden act in a racist way. I personally found the leaked email to be disgusting, but I knew it didn’t matter. Gruden was never going to lose his job because of that one email. As an NFL fan, you know that men like Gruden are around and you hope in your heart that he’s one of only a few who think that way. You hope he’s a one-off goober. You watch anyway, striking that bargain with yourself.
But then.
Oh, but then.
Oh, but then more emails are being sent to the Raiders by the NFL for their review. Oh, but then those emails are leaked to the New York Times. And then the world sees the vile, ignorant, racist, misogynistic and homophobic thoughts laid out by Jon Gruden. Gruden hit the White Male Grievance trifecta, decrying the hiring of female refs, berating the Rams for drafting “queer” Michael Sam, calling Roger Goodell a “faggot” and bemoaning black NFL players for protesting during the national anthem. Oh, but then let’s not forget the topless photos of Washington Football Team cheerleaders he swapped back and forth with former WFT executive Bruce Allen.
Let’s take a step back, shall we?
The emails in question - sent by Gruden from 2011-2018 - were collected during an investigation into the toxic workplace of the Washington National Football team, a general dumpster fire of an organization owned by Dan Snyder. Nearly 650,000 emails were turned over and examined during this investigation, which was quietly closed by the NFL in July of this year. The NFL fined the organization $10 million and imposed a few sanctions, but no executive was fired or forced to leave. Snyder didn’t have to sell the team. The whole thing fizzled out like a 4th of July sparkler. The worst emails seem to have been circulated with former executive Bruce Allen, who was found largely responsible for creating an extremely hostile workplace for women in the office. It’s curious that the first emails we’ve seen are from Gruden, and it makes you wonder what other gross emails are in this batch of messages.
The mess that is the WFT organization is a post all its own, and frankly one I don’t care to write. I want to keep the focus on Gruden and the NFL, because the NFL is just as much to blame for allowing this kind of behavior to continue. The NFL could’ve been more outwardly supportive of black player protests, but they stayed silent. The NFL could’ve done more to prevent known domestic violence perpetrators from playing football. They could’ve done more to uplift LGBTQ+ players and work harder to eliminate homophobic slurs from the game. The NFL could’ve done all of that, the absolute bare minimum required of any company. They could’ve, but they didn’t.
So no, it’s not surprising that Gruden said all of these things. And it’s not surprising that he said all of these to someone high up in an organization and STILL got a head coaching job. The Raiders appeared to have completely ignored the Rooney Rule to bring Gruden on, neglecting to interview any qualified black coaching candidates. And we all went along with that, shrugging our shoulders. So, no, none of this is surprising.
My heart is so heavy tonight for the players in the Raiders locker room. The black players deserved better than playing for Gruden. Carl Nassib, the first openly gay NFL player, deserved better than having Gruden as his head coach. What kind of man sits at a keyboard, types disgusting tropes and slurs about gays and blacks, then stands in front of them and tries to lead them? What kind of man denounces female referees, then asks the female line judge before a game to call plays fairly? What kind of man calls the commissioner of the NFL a “faggot” and believes the Rams were forced to draft Michael Sam, then turn around and publicly embrace the league’s first openly gay player?
What kind of man does this?
A sad, pathetic man.
A sad, pathetic man hides behind his keyboard. A sad, pathetic man who feels threatened by black men and women succeeding all around him does this. Gruden losing his job because of emails he sent years ago isn’t a cancel culture moment, it’s a man being held accountable. It’s a disappointing ending to the career of a celebrated coach and broadcaster. But as a woman who is used to seeing mediocre white men get all kinds of opportunities no one else can get, I wasn’t surprised to see Gruden’s rise and eventual downfall. I was surprised his stepping down wasn’t more drawn out, but that’s the only surprising thing about this saga.
The NFL needs to operate with complete transparency regarding this matter moving forward. Though they likely won’t, they also need to release the other emails collected in the probe of the WFT. They need to do more than just pay lip service to minorities, women and member of the LGBTQ+ community. They need to make a goddamn effort for once. That’s all I ask.
We can’t continue this willing suspension of disbelief forever.
Lastly, please watch this clip from today’s Rich Eisen show - he’s far more eloquent than I could hope to be and wraps up the segment just perfectly.